Frustratingly, today was just one of those days where I was just tired all day and wasn't too sure why. Seeing as my buses come every hour, and the latest bus I can catch from my nearest bus stop is 8:10 (my lessons start at 9:30) and I am just about in walking distance to college, I now walk to college, which usually takes me about 40-50 minutes. I like walking to college because it's good exercise, and I can definitely see myself getting thinner, especially my legs, but it does wear me out by the time I get to college. Maybe it's because I listen to music too much. Maybe it's because I have to walk along the busy main road for most of my walk, and the lack of fresh air is unpleasant. I'm not sure. I'll have to look a bit more into this. It could also be because I need more sleep, and I don't like it when I have to get up unnaturally. Like one of the counsellors I'm seeing at the moment is saying, sleep is a very natural process.
Anyway, back to today. Today I had to write proposals for three ideas I have for the end of year show project, and is something I can work on for the next 12 weeks, which was quite difficult to write about, because I was so tired, which was frustrating for me today, and caused me to work much slower than I would have liked. However, I was very pleased with the way I had broken down the task, as I had to write seven key steps for each proposal, and include how long I thought each step would take me.
Had good social times at lunch today as well, which does mean a lot to me, even though I am still very quiet around the group I saw today, and several times this week. Hopefully I'll feel more comfortable around friends and peers so I can talk to them more, and hopefully this will continue to make me happy at college. I feel having people to spend time with and talk to at college during breaks is very important, as it helps to take my mind off things, and makes me a lot happier at college, realising that people might not mind you spending time with them after all.
After lunch I eventually finished my proposals and started my blog for this week, and showed my proposals to Neil, who seemed very constructive with my ideas. He felt that the first idea, a platform/story game with storyboards and concept art was too ambitious, and too much work for just 12 weeks, which was the idea I was most wanting to do to be honest, but took the comments on board. The second idea was creating a few trading cards that would use Augmented Reality technology, and the character would be a little bit like Sackboy from LittleBigPlanet and could dress up as existing characters, which was Neil's favourite idea out of the three I had written about, and said he especially liked the AR idea. Neil thought my third idea, which to be honest I had only put in because at the time I couldn't think of anything else was a little too similar to projects I have done before, but I could understand what he was saying about this, and I preferred the two ideas anyway. After Neil gave me his feedback I said I'd consider his feedback, but might try and see if I could simplify the game idea before making a final decision for next week.
I think this week has been much better, and I really hope that things continue to get better for me at college.
After college today a meeting was arranged for me, my dad, Neil and my support to discuss possible options for me after this course, and how to improve my life at college, and was a chance for me to discuss how I've been finding the course as well.
To be honest I feel the chat went really well. It gave each of us a chance to discuss how we were all feeling about my progress on the course and what's best for me, and I feel that after today, Neil has a much better understanding of how I sometimes think, even if he sometimes doesn't agree with my actions.
First of all, we mentioned possible paths to take after the course. I mentioned that I still would like to do something creative, but also helps people and makes people happy, and to use my experiences to help others, and Lisa and Neil mentioned that the industry I've been learning about on this course is super competitive and Neil wonders if I would cope in an environment like that, so Lisa suggested that a possible idea for me to do during and after this course is to help with Art Therapy, as Lisa says she knows someone who does Art Therapy, and may need some extra help, and right now this certainly sounds very up my street, and also very interesting, so we could really look more into this.
After the meeting I met with my friend from school and had a great meal at the Butler's Bell in Stafford and then went back to my house and played Pokemon until about 11pm, which was the first time I had played Pokemon for ages! It's been a pretty nonstop day, but it's been good.
I received a very interesting letter today, in the form of a booklet about Shyness and Social Anxiety from the Emotional Wellbeing Service I have been seeing recently, and although I haven't been able to read through it yet, I really hope it will help me to overcome various social situations, particularly at college that I often find difficult. It also means a lot that they have really listened to what I have had to say, and that they care enough to try and help.
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